Diary of a Concerned Friend
by College Fool
Summary: Ruby has some thoughts. Jaune will never know. Season 1 fic, Jaundice Arc from a different perspective.
1. Entry 1

Diary of a Concerned Friend

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Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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You're important to me, you know.

I mean, obviously you mean something if I'm writing it here. You'll probably never read this (I hope), so you'll probably never know (I really hope), but I'm still thinking about you at least! You should feel flattered, except, you know, you'll never know. But you're still important enough to write this. To get you out of my head.

Not in that way, in case you're reading this, Yang. Or Weiss. (But not you, Blake- you know how to respect a girl's privacy. Unless you're reading this, in which case- Shame! Shame!)

So don't get the wrong idea. I'm not crushing or anything. I'm just… concerned. Since classes started.

I know that probably doesn't mean much coming from me. It's probably not convincing either. I mean, we both have our partners, and our teams, and it's not like you're a teacher or anything. You're not my best friend forever, you're not my family, and you sure don't scare me as much as Ms. Goodwitch. You aren't the center of my life, and my dreams don't revolve around you. Sorry. (Not really though.)

But that doesn't mean you're not important to me though. And it doesn't mean you don't mean important things to me either.

I… like stories, you know? I was raised on them. Grew on them. Devoured them, even. I think Yang still has a picture of me chewing the corner of one at one point. (Don't tell her I said that, or she really will show you, and that'd be embarrassing. I'm trying to be a big girl now, and baby photos won't help that.)

Point is, they're important stories. Important to me.

Do you know what my favorite kind of stories were? They weren't the ones where the mightiest heroes won the biggest battles, or the darkest days, or the fiercest monsters. They weren't the simple ones in which the Hero saves the Damsel (or the Damsel saves the Hero) (or the Hero is the Damsel, and thus the Heroine) and everything is happily ever after.

They were the ones in which Heroes _grow._ Where little people, not so different from you and me, did good things to become not-so-little people. Great people even. They were inspirational like that.

My favorite story growing up was one of knights and maiden. Do you see where this is going? It's an old story- a nameless one- but one that I swear I still remember Mom telling me.

Once upon a time, there was a young knight- no more than a squire- who came upon a common maiden in distress. The knight did a good deed for the maiden, before they were attacked by a fearsome monster. The knight stood his ground and was soon outmatched, until the maiden took up his sword for the first time and slew the beast herself. The two journeyed on together to kick badguy bootie as they both became amazing heroes.

Mom might not have used those exact words, but that's how Yang likes to tell it. Every time it's a different story, with a different tale- sometimes the two are in love, sometimes they're just friends. But there's always a constant. Two heroes. Growing from little nobodies, to something amazing. Starting off small and weak and ending up saving the day together, boon companions.

I want that. I've always wanted that. I wanted that for _so long_ \- not just to be rescued, which has a charm, and not just to be the rescuer, which has an appeal, but to have it both ways. To help, and be helped, and help in turn. To let one small deed becomes something big and strong and good. I wanted to grow, and I wanted to grow with friends.

The world doesn't work like that, of course. I know that. I drink enough milk to understand it's not that simple. And it'll probably be a long time before you save me or I save you from anything serious.

But you still make me think of those stories.

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Author Note:

An experiment in stream-of-consciousness writing, sorta.

This is the first part of, oh... a bit under 8k words. More to follow, usual drill.


	2. Entry 2

Diary of a Concerned Friend

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Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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You're not the first persons I've had I tried to live heroically with, you know. There were others.

I... I'm not sure I could call them friends. Not really. I liked some of them, but friendship is supposed to be a two-way street, you know?

What am I saying? Of course you do.

I tried at Signal. I tried so hard I tried too hard, and no one but family liked me for it. Some tolerated me- some were even nice- but those were the people who were nice to everyone. Most just put up with me for who my sister was. Others didn't.

I still don't understand why. I mean, I know, but I don't _know_ know, and it doesn't make sense to me. Why good intentions aren't enough. I don't understand it- but I also don't understand why bad people do bad things, or what's the deal with being evil, or a lot of other things people say I'm too young for. I don't know why, but apparently it's possible to be too good.

I think that's a shame. I like it when others are the best they can be, no matter how good or bad they are. Kind of like you.

I think I gave up on making friends for a while. For years even. I just… relied on family to be there, to smile. And so I retreated back into my stories, thinking mine had yet to begin, and just holding out until mine would begin. When someone would accept me then and there, as if fated to be friends, and I could finally start blooming for real.

I think that was you.

I definitely placed it on you at first. There you were- tall, smiling, and armored. The perfect picture of a knight, if you smudge it around a lot. You held out your hand, and you helped me up. You didn't do it because it was me, you didn't fall for me, you didn't carry me off to the sunset- but you did it _for_ me. For the girl who got in too early, who just blew up on the first day of school, who was a stranger in a strange place and didn't belong.

Call me biased, but that made a good second impression. If you hadn't already thrown up on Yang's shoes, I'd have been impressed.

I still could have been. You could have impressed me. You could have been cool, you could have been capable, you could have been prince charming. You could have been the perfect knight, and I might have let myself be swept off my feet rather than helped onto them, and this would be a different sort of diary. I'm not saying I wanted you to, or that I wish you had, but you could have.

But you couldn't, really, could you? Because that's not you.

You're you, and whatever you might be one day you aren't yet. You were kind, but also kinda lame, and definitely weak. When I ran into Weiss in the forest (literally- did I ever tell you that?), I was just thinking about how I didn't want to be your partner. I thought I could do better than you (probably why I didn't), that I was already better than you.

You have that effect on people.

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	3. Entry 3

Diary of a Concerned Friend

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Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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I'm sorry.

Can I take back what I wrote? I could erase it, but that wouldn't be right. They were my thoughts, after all.

Yesterday came out wrong, except not really, because it didn't. I meant what I thought, but not what I said- but I'm sorry that I thought it, even if I meant it. Especially because I meant it. It's... gosh, this is hard. And people say Weiss lacks tact. I can smile my way out of trouble nine times out of ten, but that doesn't mean I don't owe you an apology. For yesterday. And Initiation.

There I was, the girl who just the day before was sure I'd just be hanging around her sis for the next four years to not be alone, and less than a day later I'm dismissing someone for not being good enough? The only there, the only person in years, who'd just walked up and offered a hand in friendship?

I'm not proud of myself for that. You didn't deserve that.

I wouldn't change it now if I could. I wouldn't trade Weiss off for all the cookies in the world. (Well, maybe when she's being- no! Bad Ruby!) No more than you'd trade Pyrrha. You'd have to be a fool to trade Pyrrha, and you haven't, so that's how I know you're not a dunce, no matter what Weiss says.

I wrote what I meant, but what I meant was bad. Unfair. I didn't have to be so… petty about it, even in my own mind. Immature in a way that milk won't help.

I want to grow strong, but I was afraid you'd hold me back. I was happy you got a team, but I was also relieved it wasn't mine. I was happy we wouldn't be weak. That I wouldn't lead a weak team.

I was wrong. I was wrong. IwaswrongIwaswrongIwaswrong.

I am wrong.

Look at me- I started off saying you were important, and then spent everything making it sound like you weren't. This is a mess. I'm a mess. I can't keep my thoughts straight, and this isn't helping right now because _I_ feel bad, and I shouldn't. I'm not the one hurting.

You are, Jaune. Something is wrong, and I don't know how to help. I don't know if I _can_ help.

What's the point of having a kickass team if we stand by when one of our own is bullied? What's the point of worrying if we don't stick together? They say all that is required for evil to win is for good people to do nothing, but what does it mean if I can't, won't, help a friend?

Because you _are_ a friend, even if I'm not good at explaining why. Even if I can't keep my words straight, and end up babbling instead. Can you forgive that? Please forgive that. I'm a geek about weapons, but friendship is a lot harder. It's more complex than the inner workings of a custom hand-crafted ballistic scythe. Which isn't that hard, really, you just have to-

 _A great many words on the workings of Crescent Rose have been scratched out._

Sorry. See what I mean? Total geek.

Let me try again later. Even if you're walking it off, I'm still not happy about the rocket locker incident.

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	4. Entry 4

Diary of a Concerned Friend

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Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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Can I go back a bit? Try something again, without messing it up?

Thanks. I knew you would. Well, I know you would if I asked. You're nice like that, you know? I wish more people were like you. The world would be a better place. More annoying for Weiss, maybe, but like I said. Better.

(That was a joke, you know. Breaking the ice. Sorry.)

When I said you have that effect on people- when I said you were the reason I was glad I wasn't partnered with you… what I meant was I think I was that way because you talked to me. Because you helped me, I had something no one else gave me that day.

Pride. And maybe a bit of hope for the next four years.

Did you know that I tried talking to everyone in Team RWBY before you? And that it went horribly? Yang wanted me to be social so bad she abandoned me. Ran away with friends I'm not even sure were really her friends, considering I've never seen her with them since. She left me to sink or swim so fast that my head was spinning. Which lead to Weiss, which, you know, but also to Blake. Who just walked away once she was sure I wasn't dead or anything.

Just… left me. All of them did.

I forgive them for that! I know they wouldn't do that now. Or at least, I don't think they would. Weiss can't- we're partners, so she's stuck with me whether she likes it or not (and between you and me, I think she likes it more than she lets on). Blake wouldn't want to run anymore, now that we're a team. And Yang- Yang wouldn't tolerate it now that I do have friends. Ugh, sometimes I have to pry her off!

But that's now. Now is later. You were then, and you were you. I'm really glad for that, you know? Because even if you're kind of lame at times, you're always kind. Ms. Goodwitch proves that good isn't always nice, but you're good _and_ nice. That's rarer than you think. That's more important than you know. Please don't let that change.

If you were a more charming person, you might have been off charming Weiss rather than sticking around near me. If you were cool, you would have hung out with the cool kids like Yang, not wanting to be stuck with the lame sister who blew herself up. And if you were capable… well, you might have been just as annoyed or disappointed as Blake was. And you wouldn't have stuck around and been just as lost with me as I was.

My friends, my team, are capable, cool, and charming But my friends weren't there back then. My friends weren't my friends back then.

They might never have been if you hadn't helped me up.

I said you gave me pride. Really you gave me hope that I could still make friends, that I'd find people I could grow with rather than just stay in Yang's shadow. If you'd been someone else- if you'd been mean like Weiss, or walked off like Blake, or simply left me like Yang- I might have given up trying. Third time's the charm, and all that.

If you hadn't been there, if you hadn't been you, I might have gone back to being that girl who relied on her sister to be her only friend, and not seen a point for trying anything else. Just… kept waiting for the story to start, becoming a hero and making sworn friends as if by fate itself, without taking a step myself. Expecting the world to come to me, rather than move forward to it. I was closer to that than Yang likes to admit.

Instead you stayed with me, and talked with me, and put up with me when I geeked out about weapons. But most of all you said something really important.

"Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet."

Do you know how much that means to me? How much that means to us?

Jaune, that was _important._

That was the moment I knew I was glad to know you. That was the moment my day started turning around. That was the point you went from being kinda gross to kinda cool. It was-

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 _The diary entry abruptly ends, as if shut in great haste._

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Author note:

Made a minor edit to how this chapter ended. The difficulties of showing, rather than telling, in a format where there is only telling.


	5. Entry 5

Diary of a Concerned Friend

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Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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Back.

Sorry about that. The others came back early, and I had to hide this. Don't want Yang trying to read this.

Again.

So. Friends. Strangers. Why it's important.

Ahem.

"Strangers are friends you haven't met yet."

I still smile when I remember how you said that. Like, right now even. You said it like it was no big deal, when it was probably the best thing I heard since Professor Ozpin invited me to Beacon, and maybe more than that. It really is that important to me. I could still have made it to Beacon two years later, but where would my friends be if you hadn't said that?

I'm not sure if you've noticed- you're kind, but also kind of clueless at times- but we're bad at making friends.

Well, maybe Yang's not, but then I've never seen her keep a friend for more than a year or two either. I still haven't seen her hang out with anyone I recognize from Signal. She's flirty, but between you and me I don't think she's ever kissed a boy or a girl she actually liked. She blushes when she reads Blake's books when she thinks no one is looking.

Which leads to Blake, who is… well, Blake. She's tries to hide it (and everything else about her), being all cool like she is, but I think she's glad to have us. Glad that we were the strangers she got stuck with. Even if Weiss wasn't strange- well, Weiss can be strange, all those rules and all, but she wasn't a stranger, but they're friends anyway. Or I think they're on their way to being friends, and that's just as good.

And Weiss is- well, she's not the best best friend she could be, but I think she's being the best friend she can be. I don't think she's ever had much practice either, kinda like me. Not like like me, but she's struggling through it just like I am, and I think we'll be great best friends when we're through. Even if we were strangers at the start.

That's thanks to you, Jaune.

Not that you made us strangers- or made us awkward- or made us teammates (except you kind of did by driving Weiss away- thanks!), but you know what I mean. And if you don't- you helped give me that little push, and I tried. And I kept trying, just like I'm trying to be a team leader and a Huntress. And by not quitting, I didn't give up, and I came away with something very precious. My team, which is more important to me than you, but might not have existed without you. So thank you, and I hope you understand that them being so important to me is your success, and not you losing.

You didn't lose by being less important- you helped me succeed in something greater. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I owe you something priceless, Jaune, and I'd pay it back if only you'd let me.

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Author note:

Figured I'd try for some short author notes. Trying not to hijack the short chapters, but people occasionally like them.

Premise of the first few chapters was introducing style (As one person put it- 'Veering wildly between comedic youth and important, serious points that you wouldn't expect her to be capable of'), and establishing the basis of friendship. For all that Team RWBY gets cast as fate-bound friends, it's easy to forget how easily they have been distant strangers. It's not enough to be forced onto a team- it's important to keep trying within it. Considering how anti-social and resigned Ruby seemed at the start, the poor first encounters could easily have lead to a poor team. But something(s) between arriving in Beacon and post-initiation pushed her to try.

I like to think Jaune earned his place in the story by helping with that.

-Also, made a small edit to how the last chapter ended. Take a look and see if you think the transition is better. Great ideas for small improvements always happen after you post.


	6. Entry 6

Diary of a Concerned Friend

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Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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It's not just RWBY that's bad at making friends, Jaune. It's not just us. It's your team as well. Both our teams, all of our teams- all of us are friends instead of strangers because of _you._

Pyrrha's not my friend, Jaune. She's not Weiss's friend either, or Blake's, or even Yang's. She's _your_ friend, Jaune. You just share her with us. I don't think you even know you do that- that if you were a bit more distant, that if you were a bit more selfish and tried to keep her for yourself, that she'd go along with it and have nothing to do with us. Just like she has nothing to do with any other teams. If our teams are a solar system, Pyrha's not a planet- she's a moon. Your moon.

(Or mooning over you as Yang would say.)

Pyrrha is what I could have been. What I would have been if I'd been famous and successful and not just too good for my class. I know that sort of loneliness to stand out amongst your peers and never fit in as a result- but I wasn't brave enough to try and fix it when I saw it. I knew who she was. I had trading cards of her in Signal for Dust's sake. Even Yang didn't try to approach, just stood back and recognized the Champion from afar. Only Weiss tried to get close, but even she could only see her as the Champion everyone knew, and not as a stranger anyone could get to know.

But you did- maybe for all the wrong reasons (or so Weiss thinks), maybe in the worst sort of way (I'm amazed you didn't hear Yang's facepalm), but you did. Clumsy, awkward, embarrassing- or how I feel half the time- but you did it. You talked to her, made another friend without even meaning to, and then shared her with all of us. You made her your friend, which made her our friend, because you're our friend too. Do you realize that?

And it's not just her- it's Ren and Nora too. Nora's friendly, but she wouldn't be a _friend_ if it weren't for you. She'd be the class clown, the strangest girl we know of without ever bothering to know. Good for a laugh but not the one you spend time with. But then there you go making stranger girls into friends for the rest of us. Now she kicks back with Yang and Yang gets too goof off without having to run away from serious Blake or super seriouser Schnee. Which I like, because that means Yang sticks around more, and see what I said earlier about how little acts of kindness becoming bigger and better?

And Ren- I almost forgot him, to be honest. I think everyone does, except you and Nora. If he weren't your team, if he weren't your friend, I really would forget about him. Sometimes I think he and Blake would be great friends, enjoying peace and quiet and all, except I know that they'd never actually talk to each other to make friends. If it weren't for us- if it weren't for you- they're be strangers that don't become friends because they'd never interact. Instead, I know Blake would help out if Ren asked for it, and Ren would help out if Blake asked for it, and even if neither of them will ever ask I know they both would say yes, and not just as a kindness to strangers. Because they're- because we all are- friends. My team through me, your team through you, and through us together we're all friends.

That makes us _your_ friends too, Jaune. We'd help you if only you'd let us. If you'd ask us.

So why aren't you?

And why am I afraid to ask you that?

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Author note:

One day I'll write a deconstruction fic (outline) of the competent!Jaune tropes, where everything is better and everyone is closer because Jaune is better in every way. Except, since it's a deconstruction, and me... well, you can probably see how I'd approach it.

As I mentioned from the start, this is an experiment in style. Experiments need data- which means feedback on specific things that worked well for you, rather than just what seemed like a good idea to me.

Please review?


	7. Entry 7

Diary of a Concerned Friend

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Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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I can't speak for them, but I'm worried, Jaune. And I think they are to. Especially because you're covering it up, and lying and trying to say nothing's wrong.

That won't work on me, buster. I've told my share of little white lies. I've put on a smile for Yang to feel better when I'm feeling lonely. I can see the stress in your eyes, the bags under them from a lack of sleep. And so can they. Even if they don't know, they suspect. Ren does, when he quietly picks up the homework you accidentally forget, and puts in back in your bag instead. Yang knows, when she turns down the music in her headphones when you've collapsed and fallen asleep in the library once again, just so you don't wake up.

They can tell. We can tell, Jaune, even if we won't point it out. Even if we won't ask what's really the matter, won't ask the important questions. We know something's wrong, even if we don't say it, even if we let you lie to us and pretend we don't know exactly what's wrong.

I'm not proud of that either.

You're everything that's wrong with us, Jaune. Or we're everything that's wrong with you. I don't know which. We claim to be strong, proud, champions for the weak. Is that why we're not? Is that why we're not helping you? Because you're one of us, and so you must be strong and not need help, because if you did that would somehow be bad? And so we pretend there's not a problem because if there was one, one of us being weak would mean we're all weaker for it and we're all too proud to admit that there's a problem?

Remember what I said before how all that's required for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing? Well, Cardin may not be pure evil, but we're certainly not stopping him.

I don't understand why not. Is this another of those things I'm too young, too childish to understand? We could beat him up. I know we could beat him worse than he beats you in training. But we don't.

Everyone thinks that he's a jerk, everyone agrees that someone should do something about him, and we all nod to ourselves while sitting at our own table minding our own business. Blake calls him a racist, but hides from him behind her book. Weiss condemns him, but never to a teacher. Ren and Nora stay in their own world, trying just a little bit harder to ignore what goes on outside their bubble.

Meanwhile Cardin pulls some poor girl's ears and makes her cry in pain, and you look down at your tray and wonder when it will be your turn next.

We all stay quiet, hoping it will become okay, but it's not. It's not okay. You're not okay. It never will be okay until he stops, and he won't stop until someone makes him.

But we don't.

And me… I ask the question I already know you'll lie about, as if I need _permission_ to do the right thing. Like I need an invitation to stand up for strangers, for people who could be my friends if I only went over there and did something good. Stood up for them, protected them, fought for them like the Huntress I claim I want to be.

But I don't do that for them. I don't even do that for you.

Is this why you don't ask us for help, Jaune? Because we don't?

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Author note:

Officially transitioning to the second half. The first half was various views on the JNPR-RWBY friendship, and Ruby and Jaune in particular. They don't interact as much as I'd like in canon... but then, in canon barely any of the characters interact for most arcs, especially between Teams JNPR and RWBY. Yet we're supposed to believe they're all friends. Eh, it's a limitation of the source material.


	8. Entry 8

Diary of a Concerned Friend

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Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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What are we, Jaune? To you?

Are we good people with the best of intentions, but aren't your friends? Or are we bad friends- or even friends who are bad people, because we'd let evil win by doing nothing?

I'm afraid to ask because I'm afraid of the answer. I'm even more afraid to do something on my own. I know I could if someone else did something first, I'm sure. If Cardin bullied you in front of me, I'd do _something_ , I swear. Please believe that about me at least.

But he doesn't. Maybe because he fears that one of us would stop him. It's probably because he's realized none of us will so long as he does it when we're not looking. When we can curse him after the fact, or look disapprovingly from a distance and shake our fingers and do nothing about it except encourage you to ask us to save you.

Is this… narcissism, of a sort? Are we holding out, just to make you beg for our assistance? So that we can feel superior and righteous, and expect to bask in your gratitude and appreciation once we magnanimously deign to deal with him?

I look at my friends, my team, and wonder why none of them stop him. I bet they look at me in turn and ask why I don't either. I'm your friend more than they are. I shouldn't be waiting on someone else to try. I'm the leader, and so I should lead.

But I don't. None of us do. You don't, and I won't, and they all play along because it's easier that way. Your team at least has a better excuse- they try to help, you say it's fine, and they trust you because they're supposed to. You can make that call because you're the leader and they're supposed to trust your judgement.

But my team? Team RWBY?

Yang will start a brawl and blow up a bar for her own reasons, but won't punch a punk pushing others around. Blake seeths at racism, but stands by when a racist acts infront of her. Weiss cares about all manner of rules and regulations, but won't call out Cardin to any of the teachers.

But I can forgive them for that, even if you have no reason to, because no matter how bad they are I'm worse. Stones and glass houses and all that.

Me? I'm Ruby Rose, leader of Team RWBY, responsible for everything we do and do not do as a team. And here I am, writing about a problem rather than solving it, and knowing that tomorrow I'll be standing by and letting it happen once again. Knowing you'll be hurt, and knowing my team will do nothing, and knowing that I've no one to blame but myself.

I'm failing, Jaune. This is what failure looks like. Fifteen and with my own team, and I'm already abandoning my friends when they need me most. Mom would be ashamed of me if she were still alive. Mom didn't stand by for anything.

I shouldn't be the only one to make that call to make the call, Jaune! We're all supposed to be helping people, and they're supposed to correct me if I'm failing, but they aren't. Won't. I should be correcting them for not correcting me- and I'm failing at that too, compounding my failure.

I'm sorry, Jaune. I really am. No just apologetic, but sorry in the worst sort of the word. I'm-

 _There are a few damp spots on the page, blurring out the last words._

You wouldn't think so. I know you wouldn't say that. You might be a lot stubborn, insisting you don't need help, but you wouldn't blame me even if you did. You're nice like that. Simple, even. You think that if I can fight a mock-battle and do well on tests then I'm good to become a Huntress. That I'm a prodigy with a bright future in Beacon, even if you don't.

You think I'm better than you.

That anything you could do, I would do better.

But when I find you on the ground, when it's my turn and chance to help you up, to return the hand you gave me… will I?

Or will turn my head and look away, too ashamed to try?

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Author note:

Most of the Jaundice arc focuses on Jaune, but I've personally been interested in the bystander effect that effects everyone there. Bystander effect- bystander syndrome- is a real thing, but you'd expect a hero of self-selected hero-wannabes to be immune. The fact that the Teams largely stand by and do nothing is rarely treated as the flaw it could be. Of the cast, only Ruby and Pyrrha seem particularly aware or concerned for Jaune- but even they try to treat the symptoms rather than address the problem of the rampant bully.

The first half of the story was centered upon my thoughts of why Ruby and Jaune were friends. This second half could be summed up as 'bystander syndrome from the perspective of the bystander.'


	9. Entry 9

Diary of a Concerned Friend

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Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

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I haven't found out yet. I haven't found the moment, found you, when you need a hand the most. I don't know if I ever will. If you hear me coming, will you lie and pretending nothing is wrong? Will I accept it, pretending I don't know? I hope not. I hope I don't give up trying. I'm not going to quit.

And you're not allowed to quit either, Jaune. It's important you don't give up. You're too important to lose. You're not allowed to fail, you _can't_ quit, because if you do...

Jaune, do you know why you're important to me? I know I've rambled- I know I've gone here and there- but you need to know I mean it. That you're responsible for over half of my friends here at Beacon.

Maybe not my best friends. Maybe not my team. But half. If you quit- if you leave- JNPR doesn't just lose you. I lose JNPR, and the rest of Team RWBY does as well.

Because they're your friends, Jaune, friends that you share, friends that I have precious few of. I left Signal with my family and no one else worth remembering. I made one friend my first day of Beacon, my team the second, and you shared JNPR on the third day and ever since. But Team JNPR doesn't sit with Team RWBY because they like Ruby Rose- they sit with us because of you. And without you, they won't.

Oh, they might for a while. Inertia, or habit, as they wait for a new Team Leader to take charge and influence people. Someone who won't be you- and so won't be as good friends with me- and is as likely to have or make friends with other teams instead. Every day at lunch will become every other, then weekly, then never. We'll smile when we see each other, greet each other in the halls, maybe even have lunch for old time's sake. But we'll never spend time visiting eachother's dorm rooms, even though we're right across the hall, any more than we do the teams in the next rooms over.

I've seen this before, Jaune. I've gone through it every time the table I sat at became mine alone when Yang moved to a new group of friends at Signal. I followed, or I was left behind.

I don't want that to happen again, Jaune. Please.

Yes, I know I won't be alone this time. I know I have my team. But the rest of my team is two parts friends and one part sister. I don't want to lose four friends if I don't have to, and I won't lose them if you don't quit.

I don't _want_ to be content with just the friends I already have, never branching out beyond my comfort zone. I _want_ to have more, but I damn with faint praise when I say that you're better at making them than me, Jaune. You're great at talking to people even if you're not great at talking. You're great at sharing even when you think you don't have much. Which make you better than me because, believe it or not, because more people like you than you know.

I _want_ to keep sharing friends with you. That's why you're not allowed to quit. You're not not allowed to fail just because you're a team leader, but because I'm selfish and want more friends and don't want to lose the ones I have.

Yeah, I'm childish like that. Petty, even. But the reason you can't give up is worse.

If you give up, I fear one day I will to.

/

* * *

/

Author note:


	10. Entry 10

Diary of a Concerned Friend

/

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

/

I'm not going to lie, Jaune. I have high hopes for you. Too high.

Remember what I said early on? About how I didn't want to be on a team with you because I didn't want you to hold me back?

I apologize.

Okay, I already apologized, but I mean it again in a different way. Whether you were weak or not, I shouldn't have cared. I was doing to you what my classmates at Signal did too me. I was too good, and they didn't want to be with me. You were too bad, and I didn't want to be with you. I never blamed them for not being good enough- I shouldn't have you. I'm just grateful you didn't envy me in turn.

It was the wrong mindset. The wrong way to think of it. Yang used to say I wasn't too good, I was just being so great that they couldn't appreciate me. It's the same for you. You're not too bad- you are, were, could be, an opportunity. A bargain sale, a fixer upper, an investment opportunity as Weiss might say. A-

Alright. That sounds worse than what I mean. What I mean is… you may not be as strong as us, but you _can_ be. Maybe right not now- and I'm not going to slack off just so you can catch up- but one day you might. You have the ability to grow, just like the rest of us, and you can catch up. I know it.

What you have, Jaune, is _**potential**_. And I think Pyrrha is a luckier girl than she realizes, or will be if she can convince you tonight. I'm rooting for her right now. If there's any of us who you can trust, if any of us are good enough to be worth trusting, it's her. Please trust her. Please listen to her. Please let her be your partner.

I can't be that anymore, because I lost the chance.

I feel guilty for dismissing you at initiation, Jaune, even if I love my team and like my partner, because when I look at you I think of those stories from childhood. My favorite legends. Not the ones in which the mighty hero arrives already mighty, but the ones in which two people grow. It's not that they might grow, that they might become heroes, but the certainty that they will. That's important to me.

That's why I'm here at Beacon. That's why we're both here at Beacon. And that's why I think that's the sort of story we're in- one where we both grow up, as people and heroes. You may not be my knight in shining armor, but you still gave me a hand up and I still want to return the favor, to offer you something other than support and encouraging words. If we keep doing these things for eachother- if small gestures become greater until they become important- I know I'll succeed.

So… yeah. I'm rooting for Pyrrha tonight. I'm hoping her idea will work out. I can almost hear her footsteps down the hall now, back from the roof, and-

Oh no.

/

* * *

/

Author note:

Yup. It's the night of the rooftop. Trying to give some indication of pacing, though I'm a bit unsatisfied how that worked overall.

As a heads-up- wrote another few entries to give the story a bit better of a conclusion, so if you've been counting words you get a few more entries to look forward to.


	11. Entry 11

Diary of a Concerned Friend

/

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

/

Pyrrha won't talk much about what happened. She's upset. You're not happy. I may not know what happened, but it's not hard to guess what ended up happening. You're fighting about something.

I don't know if you think I'm too young to understand, too skilled to empathize, or both. Worse, you might be right. But I don't think you are, and if you do, you're wrong.

I think you think I'm amazing and skilled enough already, just like everyone else here but you. I think you're wrong Jaune. I'm not as great as everyone thinks I am. I'm struggling through- stumbling- and I'm not sure I'm doing any better than you when it comes to being a leader. I look to you as much as you look to me. It may be blind leading the blind, but it's not like I have the answers either. You ask if you're doing it right, but I stumble through so many things without thinking to ask at all. Impulsive, without worrying, unless I think too much. Like I am here with you.

Not that I think I'm thinking too much about you, even if I am worrying. You're important to me, remember. Even now, you're helping me get my thoughts in order.

And those orders… Jaune, I'm not as good as you think I am. I'd say it's hard to write what I'm about to, but it's far too easy. I am, just off the top of my head-

-Reckless

-Clumsy at the worst times

-Gullible

-I don't understand a lot of things

-Honest to a fault (Why is it a fault? Another thing I don't understand)

-Adorkable (So says Yang)

-Ignorant about half the stuff Weiss talks about

-Say the first thing on my mind, whether it's appropriate or not. (Still sorry for calling you out for throwing up after I exploded, by the way.)

But that's the funny stuff. Haha, it's alright Ruby, those are adorable. Flaws that aren't really flaws.

When I really look back- or just reread these pages…

I can be selfish.

I can be arrogant.

I can be insecure.

I am bad at being social.

Worst of all, though…

I haven't stood up for my friends.

If you don't belong here, Jaune- if you don't deserve to be a hero- then neither do I.

/

* * *

/

Author note:

Probably my least favorite chapter, all things considered. Needed more meat... but what I had was originally redundant. This is important to show Ruby's self, assessment, but...

Well, more tomorrow.


	12. Entry 12

Diary of a Concerned Friend

/

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

/

Jaune… I'm worried for you. And not just because you've been disappearing a lot lately. I'm afraid I know part of why you're not asking us for help.

If so, you're stupid Jaune.

Just because I have a semblance and combat skills doesn't make me a better person than you! It doesn't mean I'm going to be a great Huntress either- you know, the sort of person who is good and nice (like you are) and protects everyone like they're their own friends even if they're strangers (because, you know). And you better believe Signal had nothing about being a leader. I'm not better than you. I'm not _worthier._

This is hard for me too. You may not have the combat skills, but I can't socialize for beans, so I think we're closer than you realize.

Reading back over that list, from before, we're actually pretty close in some of our flaws. So we really aren't so different after all. Just trade my issues with 'friends' for your training, and we're good! Or bad. Equally bad, at least.

But more than that, these flaws? They're not all who we are. They don't have to define us. That's why they're 'can be' rather than 'are'- and the one that isn't?

I'll keep growing up until I mature and understand things better. I'll practice having friends until I'm a better friend. And when I am- when I can be the sort of person who will stand up for her friends, I _will_ **_be_ ** the sort of person who stands up for her friends, and I _will_ do whatever I can to help you against Cardin. Something, anything. More than words in an empty hallway, I promise.

Just… wait for me until then. It might not be tomorrow. It might not be next week. It may be that I have a lot of catching up to do to reach you.

I'm sorry. But one day I won't be. One day your patience will pay off. I'll be the friend you deserve, and not just wishing I was the friend I could be, and once I can then I'll lead all of us to standing by your side in pride. Pride as your friends, so you can be proud of your friends. I promise you that, and this-

We can _improve_ ourselves, Jaune.

We can become worthy even if we aren't at first. I know so. I hope so. I **_need_ ** so, if I'm going to be a good friend for you and fulfill my dream and do good things. We can grow together into people who _will_ be great Hunters. This is really important- good people putting in good work can get good places. We just have to keep trying, keep moving forward in the right direction, and we'll eventually reach there. I have faith.

But I won't if you quit.

Because, Jaune, if you quit… if you quit, you failed. And if you fail- you, who's not so different from me- if you can give up, so can I. And any possibility, if given enough time, will eventually occur.

I know what you'd say on your last day in Beacon. 'You can do it, Ruby. You're not like me. All you have to do is not give up.'

You'd be wrong. I am like you- I have many of the same flaws as you- and if you can give up so can I. If I can do it, then I also can not do it.

What does it say if one of the good guys of legend gives up?

If you give up, Jaune, then one day I will too. It may not be this month, this year, or this decade. You may watch and think to yourself 'there goes a great Huntress.' But I won't be. I know, in my heart, that one day I'll give up too. There will be some obstacle too high to see over, some challenge too hard to try… and that'll be it. 'I can't do it.' And then I'll die, or worse, and live with my failure until I do.

That frightens me, Jaune. Terrifies me. And I bet it scares you too- but I'm worried Cardin is making you forget that. That he's making the 'now' so bad that you'll do something you'll regret for the rest of your life.

So let me say it here, as loud as my tiny little hands can write it.

 ** _You can not give up. _**

/

* * *

/

Author note:

I love grammatical ambiguity at times. 'If I can do it, then I also can not do it' is such a wonderful turn of phrase that I am ridiculously proud of.

But- as it is- we're getting to the crux of Ruby's worries. Good times, and soon to be over.


	13. Entry 13

Diary of a Concerned Friend

/

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

/

I don't care if I'm on a bullhead now. I don't care if we're on our way to Forever Falls. I don't care if Yang's curious and Weiss is asking what I'm doing. I'm not going to worry about them, Jaune, because I'm worried about you. Worried that you're not with us, worried that you're sitting by Cardin, worried that despite what I tried to say last night you look worse today than yesterday. I tried to help- did I make it worse instead?

Remember what we talked about, Jaune. Remember what I meant, if not what I said.

 ** _You (still) can not give up._**

You can't. You can't. You can't you can't you can't. You a good guy, Jaune. You're _the_ good guy, and the good guys always win, right?

They have to. They must. Good has to triumph over evil, or else evil will triumph and good people will suffer. If you give up now, you won't be the only one suffering- your friends will, I will, and everyone who counts on us will to. Both now and forever in the future, more people are depending on you than you know.

The good guy has to win. He has to stand up brave and strong. But he doesn't have to do so alone.

Let's play heroes together, Jaune. Let's be like the heroes of that story. You can be that knight, and I'll be the maiden, and together we'll become something better. And if that's too much- if fighting skills matter too much- then _you_ be the maiden and I'll be the knight and I'd teach you how to fight. If only you'd let me. Or Pyrrha. Or anyone else. We'd all teach you- even Weiss, if it came down to it. I know this. I know that we- I- want to help you!

 _You_! Not the Arc, not the team leader, but Jaune the person who is our friend! You're a part of my life, Jaune, which means while it's about you it's not just about you. It's about us- team leaders, first day friends, and everything else we are and ever could be. Our stories are tied together by fate, I know it, and your story affects mine.

Because if you fall- if you give up- then you aren't the knight of that story. And if you're not the knight, then I'm not the maiden. I'm not the one who will become the hero I'm not yet.

Because if you aren't Jaune, heir to the Arcs, then I'm not Ruby, the prodigy Rose. I'm just Ruby, a fifteen year old girl in over her head, faking a responsibility she has no clue how to handle. A little girl mistakenly entrusted to look after three friends and so lost a fourth and thus four. A bad friend, with worse prospects, and sure to give up one day rather than overcome.

Your flaws are my flaws, Jaune, and if Cardin beats you it's only because he beat me too. Because I let him. Because I was a bad friend, which makes me worse than you. If you're just Jaune then I'm just Ruby, just a little girl pretending to be brave, playing at being a hero.

But if you really are Jaune Arc, scion of heroes, friend-maker of strangers, and one who follows heroic footsteps and rises… if you can be that, then I can be Ruby Rose, child of Hunters, good leader, and better friend. I can become that, if you just hold out a little longer. We can both be team leaders our friends deserve, and the friends our teams need. We can both graduate together. We can become adults together, and share friends together, and all of us will make a difference together because we will **_all_** be better people and we **_will_** make the world a better place.

But only if we stick together. It's like my Uncle Qrow once said- if we don't hang together, we'll all hang separately.

This is what it comes down to, Jaune. You endure a hero, or I fall a weak little girl. There is no middle ground. No compromise. I may be unreasonable about this, even stubborn, but that's just how important you are. To all of us. To just the two of us. And to me.

I believe in you, Jaune. If you can do it, anyone can. If anyone can, then I can. And if I can, then you can to.

But if you can't… if you choose to give up, then anyone can fail, and if anyone can fail everyone can fail, and if everyone can fail what chance do I have?

So choose, Jaune. Choose.

But know that, no matter what, you're still important to me.

/

* * *

/

Author note:

-sits in satisfaction-


	14. Entry 13 Post Script

Diary of a Concerned Friend

/

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

/

 _There is another section on the page, a short scrawl separated from the previous entry by a single line._

 _It reads:_

You did it. You did it without me, but you did it, and made today a good day.

I'm proud of you, Jaune.

/

* * *

/


	15. Entry 14

Diary of a Concerned Friend

/

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

/

I'm (still) proud of you. But I'm also sorry. Not of you- I'm still proud of you- but to you. For you. I-

I'm proud of what you've done. What you've achieved. You stood up- for yourself, for your friends. Even for Cardin.

That impressed me, Jaune. I think it even impressed Weiss. I know it was the right thing to do, even if it was the hard thing to do. Good Huntsmen defend the innocent, but the best heroes are supposed to save everyone, even the jerks we don't like. Especially the jerks we don't like. I'd like to think I would have done the same if it came down to it... but then, I'd like to think I would have helped you in your time of need.

I'm not sure I did. And I'm sorry because I'm not sure I can anymore. Not because I don't still want to help my friends, but because the opportunity passed.

I mean, you've won, right? You did the right thing, and came out on top, and beat Cardin by saving him. Cardin's not bullying you anymore, or anyone else, because you're standing up to him. Not just for your friends, but for strangers who aren't your friends yet. You've proven you're the sort of person who deserves to be here, Jaune. You know what being a hero means, so all that's left is to learn how. That's fine- that's what school is for, right?- and you did it on your own. The intent, the character, the will- that was all you.

So what help was I?

This is... I'm not sure what lesson to take away. That you were always strong enough, and so I shouldn't have worried? That thinking of you as someone who needed help was looking down on you? Am I not happy when I should be happy for you just because I didn't get to save you myself?

If I had- if Weiss and I had charged in when we saw you being mauled by the ursa, rather than be restrained by Pyrrha- would we have been doing a good thing by helping? Or would we have hurt you, robbing you of your chance to help yourself?

I don't want to hurt you, Jaune. But I don't want to stand by and do nothing when my friends are hurting either. I don't want to be the only good I can do to be not do good things.

What was I supposed to do, Jaune? How was I supposed to be a good friend?

/

* * *

/

Author Notes:

In the original draft, the story ended with yesterday's chapter. This is a canon-compatible fic- no branching, no new developments- and I originally left it hanging on the final entry before Forever Falls. It was a lingering thing- encouraging a bit of insecurity, which should be tempered by the knowledge of canon.

Ultimately decided not. Wrote a bit more- a sort of aftermath reflection from Ruby's POV- which bumped the core story to a bit over 10k (not including these author comments).

Yesterday's section- brief as it was- was inspired by an old diary I once saw. I've forgotten whose it was, but the context was the death of a child- and all the diary said was 'Today was the worst day of my life.' Nothing more, because nothing more needed to be said, because anyone who read it should understand the context.

That was the intent of the Forever Fall post-script. Such a good thing, so certain to be remembered, it shouldn't need description.


	16. Entry 15

Diary of a Concerned Friend

/

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

/

I haven't figured it out yet. It's like I said earlier- friendship is complicated.

Should I have stepped in? Did you need to do this on your own? I don't know the answer. I don't know if there is an answer.

I can see what succeeding on your own meant to you. I can understand why Pyrrha held us back. You accomplished something impressive. You're no longer afraid. Not of Cardin, not of Grimm, not of whether or not you have a place here. You won confidence, Jaune, and I'm not sure we could have given you that even if we had tried. You earned- you had to earn- it on your own.

But even if doing it on your own was good for you, I'm not sure it was good of us. Of me. We were worried, Jaune- but we still stood by and did nothing. We watched while you struggled, and barely offered support. Even if we can't fight your battles for you, we should have fought ours. You're our friend, which makes an attack against you an attack against us, and yet we didn't fight back. Even if it worked out for you, we failed to work. But if we'd worked as we should, it would have hurt you- or at least robbed you of this chance.

Your growth as a person. Our role as friends. I can't help but feel they were at odds. They shouldn't be- we should grow with eachother, not without eachother- but I'm not sure how we could have helped you help yourself. I can't see a way that we could have been better friends, but still given you the chance you needed to grow. It was a no-win situation.

Except it wasn't, was it? You did something I hadn't considered. You won. Here I worried all about me helping you, and you went and helped yourself.

You're at peace now. You belong with us as much as ever- and more importantly, you believe it. If you'd save Cardin, if you'd stand up for Velvet, I can only imagine what you'd do for us. For your friends who don't deserve to be called you friends, but who you do anyways.

You've grown, Jaune, changed for the better. If we're trying to be those heroes, I think you're a bit ahead of me right now.

If I'm going to catch up, maybe it's time I took a page out of your book and changed as well.

/

* * *

/

Author Notes:

(Almost) ever.

After having so much time on Ruby's doubts and worries, the real point of the post-Jaundice was for her to come to terms and move forward. And here we are.


	17. Final Entry

Diary of a Concerned Friend

/

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

/

Hey Jaune. This is the last time we'll talk for awhile. Well, write at least. Let's make it good, alright?

Dad once told me that heroes are great because they protect everyone. That it's fun to help the people you like, easy to protect the people who've never done you wrong, but hard to save the people who have. Once, I thought I'd have protected anyone. Then I learned I wouldn't protect you.

I want to be better than that. Better than I was. Would you mind if I took a page from your book?

(Or diary, if you have one? I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?)

If it sounds like I look up to you a bit right now, I think I do. And if you're surprised, you shouldn't be. You saved someone you had every reason to not like. I didn't help you. That's the difference between us right now. I might be able to stand up to more Grimm than you, but I didn't stand up to anybody for anyone. You've not only stood up to both grimm and bullies, but you saved people. Cardin, and maybe even yourself.

Compared to that, Grimm kills in the middle of nowhere seem kinda petty. So yeah, I respect you. In some ways I want to be more like you.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm going to stop writing diaries for awhile. Stop writing about how I wish I was a better friend, and start trying to be one instead. This is the last page before the cover, and I don't think I'll get another. It might be a small step forward, but if I keep on track I'm sure I'll make progress.

Call these goal posts my promises. I hear that sort of thing is important to you- but Jaune, let's be honest. If you can keep your word, _anyone_ can keep their promises, which means this should be a cinch for me.

(That's a joke, by the way. A bit of teasing. Friends do that to each other, or so I hear. But I'm also serious.)

It's like I said earlier- if you could do it, anyone can do it. If you gave up, I'd give up. But you didn't give up, so I've no excuse, and know I will succeed as long as I don't give up. So consider the following my promises to you. My Rose Words. Or Rose Vows. Or-

 _A great many names are crossed out._

Call these my promises to you.

Ahem.

/

I, Ruby Rose, do solemnly promise (because swearing is bad), with Jaune as my witness (even if he never knows), the following-

-I will make new friends, no matter how strange the stranger.

-I will believe in the ones I have, no matter the question.

-I will stand up for anyone who needs it, even if they don't deserve it.

But most of all-

-I will never stand by and let a friend suffer alone. Never again.

/

It's a big list. I could struggle with it for the rest of my life. But I think it's important that I do. That it's important that I try.

Let's be heroes, Jaune. The sort who grow. You're already a hero in my mind- you think like one even if you don't act like it it- and I'm the inverse. I've the skills, but not the mind. Not yet. Maybe we won't grow together like the two in the tale- maybe our stories aren't as intertwined as that- but we'll grow closer as we grow up. I'm certain of it.

When we do- when I do- I'll not only be a better person, I'll be a better friend. The sort of friend you deserve, the sort you've always deserved and always should have had, so that the next time you have trouble you won't face it alone.

Wait for me, Jaune. You may need training, and I may need practice- I may need a lot of practice, so thank dust Weiss wants to go to the docks next week- but it'll be worth it. _**I'll**_ be worth it.

One day, I'll be a person I can respect, and a friend that you can be proud of. The sort that helps you when you need it most.

Until then,

Ruby

/

* * *

/

Author Notes:

This is what I wanted to get to by continuing after the Jaundice arc proper. Instead of cutting off at Forever Falls, I wanted to show the aftermath, and Ruby's turn to pushing forward. Which I think had to be shown, really, because a lot of the flaws of the Jaundice arc- bystander syndrome and all- don't show again come Blake's arc. I could blame bad writing, I could assume that Team RWBY doesn't care, but ultimately I'd prefer to think that Jaundice was a cause for character growth for Ruby.


	18. Back Cover

Diary of a Concerned Friend

/

Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.

/

You already are.

Sorry. For reading this and all that. I didn't know whose it was until I opened it, and couldn't make myself stop. And sorry for writing in it. I know I shouldn't steal your last page like this, but even if it's rude there's something I have to say.

You already are that sort of friend, Ruby.

It was a hard time. I won't lie. Cardin made me miserable. But I wasn't exactly letting people- friends- help me. I didn't have that proper mindset either. I came closer to quitting than I like to admit.

But I didn't because you didn't let me. Because of your silly unreasonable 'nope.'

I'm surprised you didn't write about that. That it didn't seem that important to you. Because it was important to me- maybe as important as 'strangers are friends' was to you. That helped me more than you can imagine. You helped me more than you realize. You were- are- already a great friend. And not just because you're out looking for Blake right now. This diary alone is proof enough. You were worried, you were concerned, and isn't that what good friends do? I think so.

You wondered if you'd ever give me a hand up if you saw me down. You did something better. You lowered yourself to my level.

That night in the hallway- before Forever Falls- that was probably the lowest night of my life. If you'd simply offered a hand, standing tall and confidant while I was down and defeated, I wouldn't have taken it. I probably would have broke. Helped up, by someone so much stronger and competent and confident.

But you weren't, were you? You might have been (definitely are) stronger, but you were just as unsure as I was. Just as worried in your own way. Instead of standing above me, you sat down there with me, and gave me your words of wisdom. Or word, as the case may be. You didn't look down on me, and you didn't coddle me, and you told me how it was. You may have been been speaking to yourself as much as me, but what you did say was important.

You're already the sort of friend who helps, Ruby. You told me exactly what I needed, when I needed it. If it weren't for you, I'm not sure I would have pulled through. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Let me repay you by giving you that advice you wanted. How to 'think' like the hero you want to be.

Keep doing what you're doing.

You're on a good path, Ruby. You're a great person with an amazing team and a bunch of amazing friends and me. Keep those promises. Remember what you told me. Do that, and you'll be an amazing hero in no time. You're already amazing in my book, and that's just as a friend. Just focus on being you, and the rest will come naturally.

You do that, and I'll focus on training, and we'll meet somewhere in the middle. For now? I'll sneak this back to your dorm before you and the others come back with Blake like I know you will. I'd say feel free to ask us for help, but then I know what it means to need to do some things yourself. But you know I'm here if you need it.

Well, kinda. Who knows how long it will be till you re-open and read this. When you're ready to get a new one, I guess. But if you do ask, I'll be there.

(I think you already are ready for that other diary, personally. Maybe I'll get you a new one for Gift Day. Or two, one for both of us so we can compare notes. How does that sound? It's the least I can do for using up the last of your pages- and to repay you for your help.)

I think that's what I need to say, so let me round it up.

Thanks, Ruby. You're a better friend than you know, and I'm proud to call you that. So try not to be too embarrassed when you realize I read this, alright?

(And please don't kill me. Or let anyone else on your team do it for you. This can be the secret between us.)

Love, and thanks, from your first friend at Beacon,

Jaune

/

* * *

/

 _Fin_

/

* * *

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Author Notes:

The (real) end of the story. For a story about Ruby's thoughts on Jaune, I thought it'd be nice to end on Jaune's thoughts towards Ruby.

Which I thought were relevant because, as some noticed, Ruby's resolve at the last chapter matches up well with the Blake run-away arc. Despite focusing on Jaune's defining character-development arc, I wanted to give a sense of Ruby's developments as well. The increasing concern leading to an acceptance of weaknesses and an resolve to improve herself as well. Letting Ruby be a flawed heroine who doesn't save the day (bystander syndrome), and so who uses the crisis to push herself forward and grow.

Overall, I like it. It wasn't a perfectly polished fit- the whole body up to Fovever Falls was originally one big stream of consciousness block that I broke apart for diary entries- and there was the occasional elements of repetition. I realize how that can be annoying, but I don't think it's necessarily bad- it fit the idea and intent of someone continuing to worry over something that's not improving. Touching everything only once would be concise, but that's not how people worry. Concern is cyclic, and in Jaundice it's Jaune, not Ruby, who breaks the cycle.

(And- as funny as it was- let's clarify something. The grammar choices and errors in the story are (mostly) deliberate. It's an attempt at Ruby-style stream of consciousness. Hopefully the contrast with Jaune makes clear I was going for personal styles of writing.)

So, with that, it's over. Please share your thoughts,


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